A Lego Movie Rant – If Anyone Cares – A Mini Review

Here’s my criticsim of The Lego Movie, based on my limited memory – and not going back to watch the blasted thing again to refresh it. The whole bunnies and flowers wrap up at the end is just lovely and so wonderfully empowering, perhaps everyone just overlooked all the really awful and at time cringe-worthy badness.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

There are 4 girl characters I can recall (unless you count uni-kitty which would make 5). Only one is a main character. One has like 20 cats. One is a construction worker. One is Wonder Woman.

Potty humor – Butt jokes so out of the blue. The Pirate states that it’s hard to wipe your butt with a hook.

Girl vs boy – Bosom centric costume change in wild west (why??) – The hero gets all starryeyed when he sees the heroine and then completely bails on his job – then in another scene can’t listen to what she’s saying because she’s so wonderful.

Batman runs off with the “boys” leaving Lucy, our heroine heartbroken, as if that’s all there is.

The society – follow rules, build to the plan, everything is awesome, work with the team.

Bad cop/Good cop has his good cop removed by holding him down and dissolving his face with a q-tip and nail polish remover.

President of the World is the President Business and president of the oil and construction companies (all controlling). Hard to not see this as a political statement whichever way you want to go with it. Hard to imagine why the statement needs to be made in a kids movie… oh it’s for the adults. Right.

Attempted melting of main character (torture or death threat you make the call but there’s a laser pointed at him while he’s locked in a harness).

Gluing down of the Parents of Good Cop/Bad Cop – (death or incapacitation which resolves at the end – but we think that they’ve been killed until then.)

Death of mentor character by decapitation (head rolls around and talks an then gets xx for eyes).

Artifacts include a very USED bandaid which is thrown at someone’s head.

Total destruction (and annihilation of most of the inhabitants) of the creative and beautiful Rainbow world (which is not called that…).

Superheroes are powerless and incarcerated.

Evil President turns out to be a charicature of Dad in a live action Will Farrell cameo. (Sure, he redeems himself…)

Final threat is that now sister is allowed to play too which is portrayed by cute little animal-like creatures with flowers.

Anything good in the movie?

Sure some of the constructions are very creative.  The “message” you are left with is that ordinary boring people can have great ideas and be special very creative people. The plot seems like a piecemeal steal of other plots assembled without instructions. I would have likely walked out 15 mins or so in – but my son was enjoying it.

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